Thanks to the likes of Jason Momoa and Aaron Taylor-Johnson, the discussion about younger men dating older women has been in the spotlight for a while. But some people just can’t wrap their heads around why a guy would want to do this. If you feel the same way, you’ll get your answers here, as a number of such individuals have opened up.
In the last few years, aspects of the dating game have changed in some major ways. For instance, if you wanted to meet someone in the past, you’d normally have to go out to certain locations like a bar or a club. Due to modern technology, though, you don’t necessarily need to do that today.
Online dating and apps make the process a little bit easier, especially for those who struggle in the aforementioned places. However, while these tools are useful for singletons across the world, one aspect of the dating game remains the same. And given its sheer importance, it’s unlikely to ever change.
Attraction – whether physical or otherwise – plays a massive role when it comes to building a romantic relationship. There are some men who are drawn to older ladies in that regard, preferring them to women their own age. As to why this might be the case, a number of different reasons have been posited.
Celebrity romances often hit the headlines, with many fans showing an intense fascination and desire to find out more. But as we’re about to discover, certain famous figures and their romances get people talking for entirely different reasons. Jason Momoa is one such example, a man known for his connection with someone older.
In 2005 Momoa – recognizable for his roles in Game of Thrones and Aquaman – first started dating Lisa Bonet. An actress in her own right, Bonet is some 12 years Momoa’s senior. They reportedly bumped into each other on a night out in Los Angeles, with their relationship blossoming from there.
After becoming an item, Momoa and Bonet went on to have two children together over the next few years. It was only after all this, in fact, that the lovebirds finally tied the knot in October 2017. And while the age gap might bother some individuals, the actor himself certainly doesn’t feel that way.
Speaking with Esquire magazine in October 2019, Momoa said, “[Bonet was] literally my childhood crush. I mean, I didn’t tell her that. I didn’t let her know I was a stalker until after we had the kids. If someone says something isn’t possible, I’m like, ‘Listen here, I married Lisa Bonet. Anything is… possible.’”
As for Taylor-Johnson, he is another famous example of a younger man dating an older lady in Hollywood. Back in 2009 the actor starred in Nowhere Boy, a movie directed by Sam Taylor-Wood. At the time of filming, the director was 42 years of age – while he was just 18.
During that period, Taylor-Wood and her young star formed a romantic bond, before getting engaged in the fall of 2009. In the end, the pair celebrated their wedding day around three years later in 2012, becoming the Taylor-Johnsons. However, these two examples of notable age gaps between men and women aren’t isolated incidents.
Indeed, Chris Hemsworth can add his name to the list, as well. The Hollywood superstar was introduced to an actress named Elsa Pataky in 2010, and they hit it off almost immediately. Despite a seven-year age difference, Hemsworth and Pataky became husband and wife in the winter of that year.
Off the back of the wedding, Pataky and Hemsworth welcomed their first child into the world in 2012. A couple of years later, they added two more to their growing family, with the mom giving birth to twins. After that, the Marvel star relocated his clan to Australia in 2015.
Elsewhere, the likes of Hugh Jackman and Emmanuel Macron are also in high-profile relationships with older women. The former first started dating Deborra-Lee Furness after meeting her on a television shoot, which led to a big moment. Furness and Jackman – who’s about 13 years younger than her – tied the knot in 1996.
Meanwhile, the gap between Macron and his wife Brigitte Trogneux is even larger. When he was a teenager, the President of France first crossed paths with Trogneux at his high school. Plying her trade as a teacher at that time, Trogneux was around 24 years older than the young Macron.
Macron and Trogneux eventually formed a romantic bond when he turned 18 years old, ahead of their marriage in 2007. Since then, the couple have faced some unwelcome comments regarding their relationship, with the politician biting back at his critics. But nasty remarks aren’t all that uncommon when it comes to this topic.
As previously mentioned, there are certain people who don’t understand why a man would be attracted to an older lady. Recently, though, those individuals have received a few emphatic responses from the guys in question. And as it turns out, there’s a number of reasons behind their specific romantic preference.
The information was compiled by two writers named Susan Winter and Felicia Brings, who authored a fascinating publication. Titled Older Women, Younger Men: New Options for Love and Romance, the book covered the age-gap subject thoroughly, with over 200 men sharing their views. So on that note, here are a few highlights.
To kick things off, a 64-year-old man known as Paolo touched upon his relationship. He looked back on the fateful day when he first met his partner a number of years ago, explaining how their dynamic worked. By doing so, Paolo revealed a few interesting points that some other guys could relate to.
“I met Karolina at a party given by some friends,” Paolo recalled. “When I saw her, I thought she was just the perfect woman for me and I was sure about that. I wasn’t looking for an older woman and Karolina wasn’t looking for a younger man, but it just happened. I was 39 and she was 55 then.”
Paolo continued, “Our relationship is unique, because it’s not just built on sex, but on trust, respect and love. We are both morning people and nearly always in a good mood. We are both hard-working with many hobbies in common. In my opinion, age has nothing to do with our relationship.”
Paolo revealed that he and Karolina had been an item for 25 years, proving that the age gap wasn’t a problem. And in addition to this, similar views were also shared by a 35-year-old man named Neil. In his case, though, he credited his older partner Pat for turning his entire life around.
Neil told writers Brings and Winter, “Pat is very special. Not only is she beautiful, but she has a wonderful sense of humor and is very giving. The ability to talk about anything with her was refreshing and engaging. In fact, when I first met her, I didn’t know I was attracted to an ‘older’ woman.”
Neil expanded on that point a bit further, claiming that he initially hadn’t been aware of the true age difference. Indeed, the 35-year-old only clocked on to the gap after a few meetings with Pat, yet that didn’t seem to trouble him. By that stage, their bond was already having a positive impact on his life.
“Pat offered me space, devotion and herself, which I couldn’t find in anyone else,” Neil added. “I take better care of myself now. She is a best friend who reflects back to me what a good person I am, which builds my confidence and self-esteem. I now have a better job and feel better about myself than ever before.”
While Neil and Paolo put forth some interesting points about their relationships, some other guys offered an alternative perspective. According to a couple of the men that Winter and Brings spoke to, attraction to someone older stems from a very specific place. To them, it’s all about the women’s mindsets.
Giving some thought to the subject, one guy named Nigel made a comparison between younger and older ladies. In doing so, he ultimately ended up raising some interesting points which might shed some light on why certain men are drawn to the latter group. But that’s not quite all, though.
Nigel explained, “I think younger women are sometimes too focused on starting families, and that is rarely an issue with older women. I’ve always had relationships with older women. They know themselves. They have so much more to offer and they are looking for different things.” And his thoughts didn’t end there.
“They are not just looking for guys who will be good fathers and providers,” Nigel added. “Older women can be more playful. They are more relaxed. It’s really a personality thing for me regarding what is attractive. I enjoy a confident attitude and older women definitely have the upper hand in that area.”
Furthermore, a man called Dan also focused on the differences between younger and older women. Maturity of mind and attitude is what he’s looking for in a partner – but he doesn’t believe girls his age are like that. Instead, the 24-year-old finds those qualities in ladies much older than him.
And Dan isn’t alone on that front. In fact, a writer for U.K. newspaper The Telegraph shared their experience of dating a woman ten years older. Gareth Rubin detailed that period of his life in a fascinating feature, speaking about certain aspects of the relationship. And one of those points went on to reflect Dan’s feelings.
“One thing I loved about Sally was the fact that she spoke in English, rather than some… code,” Rubin wrote in March 2019. “Mind games are very much the environ of the younger girl. Past 40, women are utterly upfront about where you’re going very wrong – brutal, certainly, but an easier way to live in so many other respects.”
However, a mature mindset isn’t the only thing that these men like about older women. Returning to Winter and Brings’ research, a guy named Art admitted that life experience was a big draw for him. As such, the 27-year-old couldn’t look past ladies with more years on the clock than himself.
Speaking to the two authors about one of his older partners, Art said, “[She] was very beautiful and caring and we had similar interests. She offered me the opportunity to see another perspective on a lot of different issues. I mean, older women think differently on certain issues and they’ve got more experience.”
Art added, “I grew up a lot with her. Yeah, definitely, she helped me to grow up. She made me realize how important I could be in making someone else happy. Not that I was doing it for her, but just being with her.” Regarding the aforementioned experience, a man known as Fred couldn’t help but agree, too.
In Fred’s mind, life experience makes older women more emotionally stable than those without it. But while all of this reasoning sheds some light on a sometimes tricky topic, a rather bizarre perspective was offered via the small screen. Indeed, an episode of My Strange Addictions covered one man’s romantic proclivities.
The guy in question was a 31-year-old named Kyle, who lived in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. In the show, he admitted, “I’m addicted to dating older women. Much older women. Like 60, 70, 80-year-old older women.” At this stage, Kyle tries to explain why he feels this way towards those age groups.
Kyle continued, “I love everything about older women. I love the smell, I love the feel. I love the mentality. I love dentures! Women can be self-conscious about dentures. [But] ladies, I can promise you, telling your man that you have dentures will not turn him off. It’ll put a smile on his face!”
After Kyle’s confession, the show then informed viewers about the man’s dating life. Apparently, he had been seeing women over 60 for several years, with his oldest partner being a 91-year-old lady. These romantic preferences first started during his time at high school, when an older teacher caught his eye.
The segment was subsequently uploaded to YouTube in January 2018 by the TLC U.K. channel. Since then, it’s earned close to six million views and generated over 31,000 likes. And in addition to that, it’s also garnered in excess of 13,000 comments from online users, ranging from shock to confusion.
Meanwhile, Rubin made one final point in his feature, referencing the classic movie The Graduate. He wrote, “My female friends wanted all the details [on my relationship], undoubtedly thrilled by the fact that they were now in line for virile chaps seeking a break from empty-headed younger lovers. After all, it wasn’t Dustin Hoffman’s character that Simon and Garfunkel sang about. It was Mrs. Robinson.”